Outside the consulate

On a Monday morning, I was waiting for Rajdeep Sardesai to tweet good morning so that I could wake up and go to the US consulate where I had an appointment at 730 AM. Unfortunately, Rajdeep had a crazy night I guess, so I decided to wake up on my own and get ready.

The Visa procedure discouraged us to carry anything except the relevant "I am an Indian and I wish to come back" documents and passport. So I was wondering where I could slip in my House documents as I decided to take an Auto ride. In Chennai, you either have to carry your will or possess enough jewellery (basically weight ah na party) that would help you to pay the Auto fare.

PS: While typing out the word 'Jewellery', Prabhu actually appeared on screen and asked if it had Seidhaaram and Seikuli, I had to use the task manager to end task the bot.

So, the auto covered around 1.5 kms to reach the US consulate from my place but he charged me the same amount that Indian Railways charge from Chennai to Bangalore.

I had to wait about 1 and a half hours outside the US consulate and I had witnessed probably one of the worst set of conversations ever. Let me share the Top 3:

Conversation 1

Random mom: Hey, have you applied fair and lovely properly today?
Her Daughter: Why ma?
Random mom: Because, if the interviewer is a white guy and if you are fair, he would think you look "Foreign" and give you Visa  easily

I was searching for an Ashok Leyland Lorry to place my head.

Conversation 2:

Random Guy: Hey you are going to get US Visa aaah?
Another random guy: Yes sir, and you?

Dear brothers, you are standing outside the bloody US Consulate. Will they give Malaysian Visa or what!!?

Conversation 3:

One guy actually asked me this: Boss, if they dont give me US visa, will they put me in Jail?

I am still figuring out why he asked me this.

Though I dont care about conversations 2 and 3, conversation 1 just got me angry. Its funny how few of them still feel its better to be white. Its funny how their mind works.

Mokkai, really?

I was just wondering if anybody has written a post on 'Mokkai'. Since I couldnt find any, I decided to write a very short post about it. Do you know how difficult it is to crack a Mokkai? Oh to all you non-tamil speaking ones, Mokkai is nothing but critical thinking. Don’t get it? Let me give you an example: ‘Getting hit with a slipper would heel better’. Lets go deeper. A Mokkai can possible bring out three expressions.

>     The first one being 'A Mokkai to be remembered' – It ll make the person literally ROFL

>       The second one is where the listener hits his/her head but smiles. Don’t understand? We do this when Joginder Sharma bowls his first over

>     The third is where the listener hits his/her head along with an expression that would beat Jyothika by a point or two. We do this when Joginder sharma bowls more than just one over

I would love to call a good mokkai as critical thinking simply because Mokkai has different meanings (as mentioned above). People are used to saying mokkai padam, mokkai ya Irundadu, mokkai sir, etc, and it gives a negative feel to it, honestly. So what happens when some one cracks a good joke? People say ‘he cracked a Mokkai’. Trust me, it makes that person not feel good about cracking it. Am I getting too serious here? 

This art of cracking a Mokkai is unique. The ability to think in split seconds and come up with something that would tickle the bones is not easy, mind you. Crazy Mohan is a specialist. A classic mokkai would be the one from Panchathanthiram – “Its an Upper engine, Ambla engine I mean Mael engine.. upper deck la” To crack a Mokkai requires great sense of humour and the ability to play around with words and letters.

Most of the times Mokkai is cracked due do the Homophonic nature of word.

One other reason why I would love to rename Mokkai as Critical thinking is because when you google “What is a Mokkai”  this is what it gives – “This is truly a word which means talking irrelevant, Boring lectures, Waste jokes. Many times it may also refer 2 a person's name.”  Sorry mate, lets please give this word another name!?